A Week At Grandma's

Keric and I were spoiled rotten at my Mom and Dad's house for an ENTIRE week, and we LOVED it! :)

Here are just a FEW of the things we got to do, and a few of the pictures that I took of them. :)

Visit Uncle Clint and see his new house, which is very nice:




Play lots of Games:





Snuggle on the couch watching TV with "Gampa" and "Cic":






Take naps and sometimes sneak in to sleep all night with Mommy because someone was too afraid to sleep by himself!!!:



Visit a few of Mommy's friends who were SO NICE to let us come pet the horses and feed them "cookies":





Crash Aunt Cicily's End of School Ice Cream Party and flirt with all the MUCH older girls! LOL:



Watch Movies and eat Popcorn in the theater room:



Play Cars with "Precious" (I'm so sad that I never got a picture of them playing cars together! :( ) Keric LOVES my Mom, and has now started calling her Precious. I can only assume that this was how it happened;

For as long as I can remember my Mom has called everyone, especially little kids "Precious". Keric has been no exception. :) One day Keric started asking me where "Precious" was. I really had NO IDEA what he was talking about. I remember telling him that HE was precious, that was what Grandma called him, but he wasn't having it! He still kept asking me where Precious was. One day as we were walking up the stairs to the kitchen, Keric spotted my Mom sitting at the table and said "THERE'S Precious!" hahaha He STILL refers to her as "Precious" and talks a lot about "Gampa, Precious and Cic". So now when he asks me where Precious is, I know to answer "At home with Gampa and Cic."

Of COURSE we had to have a little "Mickey" Birthday party for Bubby before we left:







And fly model airplanes in the church gym with Uncle Clint:



The week truly did go by WAY TOO FAST, and it was a bitter sweet feeling to get back on that plane and go home. Thankfully we were going home to Chris coming home the next day, so that made it a little easier to leave. I still tear up EVERY TIME I leave my Mom and Dad! You would think that after 35 years, and being away from home for many of those years, that I wouldn't cry when I left, but I still do! I guess you are never too old to miss and love your Mom and Dad!

Keric's First Airplane Ride

Chris had to go to the Philippines again for work, and thanks to my wonderful Mom and Dad, Keric and I got to take a short little plane ride to Wyoming and spend the week with them!

Keric was SO excited about getting to go on an airplane ride! He talked about it for WEEKS, and asked every morning when he got up, if today was the day we were going to go on the airplane. Poor little guy...it was a long wait for BOTH of us!

Chris left on Monday, and then Keric and I left Tuesday night. To say that I was concerned about how things were going to go, would be an understatement, but I have to say, he really surprised me! For as anxious as he was to go, he really was a very good boy!

Our flight didn't leave until 9:30 p.m. which I think was a huge blessing! The airport was totally deserted! We were the only two people in the lobby to get our boarding passes, and the only people going through security. In fact it was SO DEAD that the TSA people let Keric go through the security machine 3 times! LOL He thought it was SO cool to go stand in there with his arms held up while the machine scanned him. They were really good sports about it, and I really appreciated how nice they were to us! I was sad I didn't have my camera to take pictures of him getting security checked, but trust me...it was funny!



We got to the airport pretty early, so he just kind of ran around, and looked at the planes, and rode the escalator and elevator for about an hour.



Finally it was time to board, and we were off!

He carried his very own bag and back pack and was a very GOOD boy walking to the plane!



We found our seats, and he quickly buckled up!




He colored


Ate peanuts and drank "Sparklie" aka Sprite



Played his Leapster games



and even flirted with the little Indian girl from India who sat behind us. He's such a flirt!

It was late when we finally landed, and he was happy to see Grandma and Grandpa. I think he was awake for a whole 10 mins in the car, and then he was OUT! I was glad I dressed him in his jammies so I could just put him to bed. I felt bad that his Daddy didn't get to be with us on his first airplane ride, but hopefully there will be many other rides, and we will ALL get to go. ;)

Bubby's First Broken Heart

Yesterday I was feeling a little claustrophobic, and it was actually a fairly nice day outside, so I told the kids we were going on a walk to Maverick. I figured if I threw Maverick in there they would be more willing to go. :)

My plan was to put Bubby in the stroller, but he wanted to walk like everyone else, so I figured I could handle walking with him if I had Cam and Reag to help me.

We set out on our little adventure, and before we got even a block away, I could tell that the idea of no stroller was a bad one, but I sucked it up and just crossed my fingers that we could get home before dark!

We had to stop and look at all sorts of rocks and worms, run from bugs and cars, and of course do lots of "Mark Set Go!" 's to keep everyone, ie Bubby, moving along!

As we were walking there was a little girl riding her scooter, and she was headed towards us. I kind of moved Bubby to the side and told him he needed to move so she could pass us. He looked up and said "Hi!" to the little girl, but she was kind of far away, so I don't think she heard him. We got a little closer and he said "HI!" a little louder, but still no response. Then she passed us and he said "HI!" one more time, and she STILL said nothing to him! He hung his little head down and said "ohhh" I wanted to CRY and run after that little girl and tell her to tell my baby HI! I'm sure it was nothing intentional, but oh it broke my heart!

I told Chris what happened, and he said "Oh...poor Bubby, the first of many many girls to break his heart!" He's probably right, but it still makes me sad to think about my sweet little boy with his little heart broken.

So just fair warning little girls...you break my baby's heart, you MAY just have to deal with ME!! You've been warned!

It's My Blog and I'll write what I want to!

I'm sure somewhere there is a blog etiquette about what you should and should not write about. I'm sure I should probably think about my audience and who is going to be reading this. I probably should remind myself that I'm posting this on the Internet, but.... It's MY BLOG and I'll write what I want to! You can chose to read it or not.

I don't write this in hopes of pity, I don't write this in hopes of tons of encouraging notes and comments, I don't write this so that you will feel sorry for me, I simply write this to get it off my chest, to maybe make the tears stop, hopefully to make MYSELF feel better, and just to record the challenging times of my life because I do have them, and one day I will need to look back on them and see that I have grown. I hope that one day I can do that with this particular challenge!

This year has been one of ups and downs. My hip replacement a year ago was life changing and a huge blessing in my life! I felt like my hip was the stumbling block to us adding to our family and now that it was fixed, we were good to go.

Sadly a year has passed, and two miscarriages later, I'm no where closer to having a baby then I was a year ago.

Is this even something that I should be crying over every month? Something that I should be sad about? I actually know people and have very good friends who don't have any children at all! Who wait in the hopes of one day adopting a child. I on the other hand have a wonderful little boy who is the center of my entire world, and who I thank my Heavenly Father for every single day multiple times a day! I also have two great step children who I have been given the very unique opportunity to be very involved in helping to raise and being a very big part of their lives; but I admit it... I am still sad. There is still a place in my heart that is empty. This can't be the end of my journey can it??

My depression has gotten worse over the past few months, and I have also now started having what I can only figure are panic attacks. I am so stressed out and upset about this baby thing that I guess you could say I have made myself sick. My weight is getting worse, because I eat to make myself "feel better" when I know that eating all the chocolate, chips, cake, whatever, in the world isn't what is going to fill the hole in my heart. It doesn't however seem to stop me.

Can I honestly be happy with just one baby? There are lots of people who only have one child, but I never thought I would be one of those people! Did I savor and enjoy every moment that I could have and LIKE I should have? What if I never get another chance at moments like that? What have I forgotten to do? All those little milestones in his life...did I capture all of them? Did I write them all down so I could remember them? I guess I always thought that I would get to see those kinds of things again... now maybe I won't and how am I going to be ok with that? Maybe I just simply won't be! Maybe that hole in my heart will be a permanent hole.

I wish I had a crystal ball, I wish I knew what the future held for me, I wish I wasn't so sad, I wish I wasn't so angry, I wish...that I was pregnant.

Reagie's Baptism

It's amazing to me how this little girl went from This:


to THIS!:

Reagan was about the age that Keric is NOW when Chris and I got married. I can't believe that she is now 8 years old, baptized, and attending activity days!

Before I know it it will be Keric's turn, and that I am just NOT ready for!!

(He insisted on getting HIS picture taken in front of the Jesus picture like all the other kids being baptized! LOL)

Reagan was baptized on April 9th with several other kids from our ward and stake.
You would think that April 9th would be somewhat NICE outside, but it snowed that day and was really really cold! I guess that will be something she will always remember about her baptism day. :) My poor parents and Cic had to drive in the snow! Welcome to Utah Spring I guess?

I think I am correct when I say that, she was the ONLY girl from our stake! I know she was the only girl from our ward, but I don't remember any other girls from the stake either. That may have been because she was so pretty that I didn't notice any other ones I'm not sure. :)



When they called our ward to go into the font area Reagan got to be the first one baptized. She looked a little nervous, but she put on a very brave face. Chris was nice and didn't hold her under the water any longer than necessary like he threatened, and she looked so happy and excited when she came up. Keric of course had to provide some comic relief for the huge crowd who was watching. He only has two volumes, loud and louder! When Reagan came up out of the water Keric yelled "Nae Nae! You go swim??? I go swim too? Daddy it my turn??" Of course he was devastated when he couldn't get in the water, and I was almost positive he was going to find a way in there...but thankfully we avoided that situation!

After the baptism we went over to the church and had a little brunch and birthday cupcakes.





Congratulations Reagie! We are so proud of you and love you very much!!

What were YOU doing a year ago?

That probably seems like such a silly question, and many of you probably have no idea what you were doing a year ago on this day, but I will always remember what I was doing on April 5, 2010! I was coming home from the hospital after having my hip replaced that morning!

In so many ways that seems like such a surreal experience! I remember it like it was yesterday, but honestly, it also seems like it was all just one big nightmare! Did I really truly have my hip REPLACED? Was it actually a YEAR ago that all that happened, or did it happen to someone else, or in a dream?

I'm truly grateful that our minds don't remember pain, because even though I remember being in pain, I thankfully don't remember what that pain felt like!

Today and yesterday I have spent all day cleaning Spring Cleaning. As much as I dislike Spring Cleaning, in the back of my mind I was saying a big prayer of gratitude that I was able to do it this year instead of sitting on a couch watching my poor MOM do it for me!

I haven't had my 1 year appointment yet...but I'm anxious to see what Dr. Bertin has to say about my hip. I'm hoping it will be nothing but GOOD things!

"Mama, this Bubby's School?"

This weekend I did some scrapbook pages for a friend of mine who still works at Middle Canyon and I wanted to get her the photo CD ASAP, so during her lunch break at school, Keric and I ran the CD over to her.

I got Bubby's shoes on, and told him we were going to go over to the school, so we needed to hurry. He immediately wanted to know where his backpack was, and insisted that he wear it to school! He LOVES to "go to school"! He always rides with the kids in the morning when Chris takes them to school, and he loves to tell me that he is going to go to school and "have a good day" with Cam and Reag. :)

So I found his backpack and we went over to Middle Canyon to see Miss Andrews. As we were walking up to the doors he said "A go see Reagan?" I said "No honey, she is at a different school, but it looks like this school huh?" (Middle Canyon and Willow are the exact same floor plan and he recognizes that! LOL ) He then looked at me and said "A go see Cameron?" I said "Nope, he's at a different school too, we are going to see Miss Andrews". He looked up at me with this total excitement in his eyes and said "Mama...this is BUBBY'S SCHOOL?!?"

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. In so many ways it IS his school...and will always be his Mommy's school too!

Middle Canyon was where I started teaching. It was where I went from "Miss Bennion" to "Mrs. Wexels". It was where I was teaching when I found out I was pregnant. It was the school where I proudly displayed Keric's ultra sound pictures on my desk, and showed them to anyone and everyone who would stop for 30 seconds to look at them! It was the school where Miss Manzione announced over the Intercom that Bubby was a boy, and the school where teachers wore pink the day of my ultrasound in hopes that he was a girl! :) It was the school where I had my baby shower, it was the school where the little girls in my class would stick basketballs in their shirts at recess and play the game "Mrs. Wexels"! It was the school where Keric's new born pictures were shown on the LCD projector in my classroom the day after I had him. It was the school where we went SO often after he was born! It was the school where he was almost like the little mascot for awhile! Everyone knew him and loved him and was so excited when we would come to visit! :)

I think back on working while I was pregnant and remember so vividly walking into school and hearing the noise of all the kids. That was when Bubby was always the MOST active, was when I was at school! He did somersaults and kicked me all day long! :) It was only when I came home that he seemed to sort of calm down!

I will ALWAYS love Middle Canyon, and even though there have been lots of changes and so many of my "family" members have moved on to other schools, Middle Canyon will ALWAYS be My school AND Bubby's School!